Just Like Heaven
I watched Just Like Heaven over the week. I was wandering about aimlessly and alone. I was feeling down and I wanted to lose myself in another world. I'm a sucker for romantic movies so I watched it. Kind of remembered that 2 years ago, that was how I ended up watching Alex & Emma alone too.
I loved Just Like Heaven as much as I love A Walk To Remember. Feel like I could connect to these stories and understand the feelings of the characters. It's amazing how two strangers can come together and find love. It's about a lady who fell into coma, and a man who moved into her apartment where her spirit dwells. She rescued him from his own life and he ended up falling in love with her. He did everything he could to stop the hospital from taking the life-support machine off her. It was very moving.
My heart broke when Elizabeth woke up and totally forgot who David was. Just the look in his eyes, walking away in despair from the girl he loves. He must have felt so broken.
They should have left the movie as it was from there. I hated the ending.
Because there's no such thing as a happy fairy tale ending.
signing off at 8:17 PM
Jesus the Evangelist
With the spirit strong in me, I took another step to serve my Lord.
On Wednesday, I finally made the choice to step out and evangelise. Things have changed alot within me the past weeks. It was my first time agreeing to do witnessing in campus. I don't know why I agreed to do it this time but I want to do everything I can for God. When He comes with a calling, I can't say no. Another evidence of my breakthrough in God. I believe I'm not in Campus Crusade for nothing. Thinking back, I questioned myself how on earth I got myself involved in Campus Crusade. But now I believe it's God's plan and He just wants to use me.
After prayers, I walked around school with Robin to spread the gospel. There were a number we spoke to and the experience from it was invaluable, though there were of course people who shunned us. I met different kinds of people and my encounter with the first group was special. God really taught me a few things from it. I can't explain it here, only in person, but it wasn't what I expected. I just know now after this week, I will never hesitate to sacrifice my free time to walk out in school and reach out to the students in Christ. I know Jesus would have done that.
I admit, in the past, countless opportunities have always been laid out for me to work for God but I always shun away. Robin has always encouraged me to turn up for Harvest Day but I just didn't want to commit. I did not want to step out of my comfort zone. Many times we pray for God to use us, but when a chance presents itself, we sometimes pretend we don't hear and walk away.
I believe that many of us are not taking out opportunities to serve God. The fact that we're in Singapore is already a reason. Opportunities everywhere. Just that many don't go out and grab them. We always conveniently use our mouths to say how much we want to serve our God. At times, we have to go out and find means to do just that. Shouldn't sit around. Opportunities out there, just not laid on your doorstep. God wants to see us put in effort to go out there, find something to do for Him and work willingly if what we say is true, about how we want to serve Him.
And it came to pass, that, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret, and saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets. And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship. Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.
Luke 5:1-4
The boat in the verse refers to is us. Just imagine us as a little boat, floating comfortably by the beach. We hardly want to trouble ourselves. We're just happy staying in our comfort zone. Until one day, Jesus comes along into our lives. He pushed us out "a little" from our comfort zone so He could use us to stand at a height, such that He could minister to the masses better.
And so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.
Luke 5:10
Yes. We need to go far out from our comfort zone. A little to help Jesus tell people about Christ. Lauch out into the deep, we shall catch men. Far out of our comfort zone, we shall catch men.
signing off at 5:52 PM
My Cup Overflows
You know I've never been a strong disciplined prayer, but now it comes so naturally to me. I don't think you'll ever know what I'm talking about until you've experienced it yourself. The breakthrough that God has so gracefully anointed me with, it really feels like the best thing in the world. My Christian life is definitely rising on a high and that is important. I had such a struggle before and my walk with God was tiring. Yet now it brings me such joy to serve Him, and it lifts me up day after day. I don't ever want to return to the days where I was in constant struggle. I now know the true joy of putting God first in everything.
This week alone I was in church 4 out 7 days. Pretty cool and it's probably going to be like that for further weeks to come. I just want to share something that happened on Saturday which I thought was quite funny. I was in HQ for the NUH camp meeting with zone 10. At the ending, Desmond sir was telling us that the next meeting was on the following Sunday and it was compulsory for all to attend. I could really feel my heart sink because I wouldn't be able to play in church !! But then, Hallelujah, he asked us what time we wanted the meeting to start. And Ah Liang mdm was saying don't start too late, preferably late morning. Everyone was quiet. Then I said, "Afternoon, 1 pm please. I have to be in church in morning." The senior officers all looked at each other for a while, then Desmond, with a tinge of hesitation in his words, said, "Okay lor, since Ian wants 1 pm then 1 pm lor." HAHA. Even our Zone Commissioner couldn't say anything and had to agree to my "demands". They all should be glad. Giving them opportunity to wake up later. Haha.
But I'm sure it was God doing His works that made it possible for me to still attend church. It's these small little things He does for me that makes me so happy. And it's these same small little things that so many people fail to see in their lives, that they fail to realize that God is present. I love Him so much.
Well anyway, after the meeting I made my way down to church for P&W practice. It was great. I decided it was time for the church to rejoice and be joyful in the presence of the Lord on Sunday, so we put out praise songs. And today's P&W was great !! I led the young and old to dance and be joyful in the Lord and really, the outcome couldn't be any better. After service they were all coming up to me saying what a good job I've done and how encouraged they are. They even said I had a a very nice powerful voice. HAHA. Which I really don't think so. I can sing but definitely not powerful. Actually, it turned out well only because I was praying everyday so intensely for God's energy to flow through. I was asking God to please please make it good. And their comments didn't sink in at all. All that was in my mind after service was relief. "Phew, finally over. Thank God it went well."
I was so relieved they were moved by God's presence today and that was all I cared about. My mind was in a blank, and I just kept thanking the Lord that I could make the tears flow, or the legs dance when I wanted to. But really, it isn't me, but God that moved them. I just pray God will continue to use me. And I believed it was through countless prayers and preparation from the entire worship team that led to a good session. The entire week was spent preparing for 30 mins on Sunday but it was all worthwhile. I'm not afraid to say I have a decent worship team with me now and we are capable of performing anywhere. Because of God. Now, I can't wait for Sunday to come again.
I wasn't a Christian since young. I wasted enough time. Now, I'm just making up for lost time. No one is ever going to take this joy away from me. Never.
Our God is an awesome God
He reigns, from Heaven above
With wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God
signing off at 7:10 PM
Unequal yoking
Last night's combined practice was different. There wasn't much playing at all. We only spent the last 10 minutes of the night going through Awesome God and a couple of mandarin songs.
Nonetheless, I grew. Felt it in me that I was growing stronger in my walk with God. The entire night was spent on all the musicians sharing from the heart. It wasn't planned that we would be sharing for 2 hours, but I'm very sure it was planned by God. We allowed it to flow and I thought last night was great. We took turns to share about how we started to play in the worship ministry, what worship meant to us and how we prepare for worship sessions week after week.
I really really thank God for these people. They truly the ones that are God-sent. Without them, quite frankly I don't think I would have grown as quickly as I would have loved to, be it spiritually or musically in the worship department. I was only able to take over as worship leader in my church because of everything I've learnt and experienced from One Accord's worship team. God is graceful.
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness ? And what communion has light with darkness ? And what accord has Christ with Belial ? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever ? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols ? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: " I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God. And they shall be My people." Therefore "Come out from among them And be seperate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you. "I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty."
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
Thanks to Joy, Im beginning to believe her that we should resist being unequally yoked. At our young age, it is difficult to do that, but we should try our very best. Now, I myself refuse to be unequally yoked.
Take yesterday for example. My classmates were psycho-ing me to hang out with them outside school since we end classes at 11.30 am and our soccer match was at 3.30 pm. The only thing was that, I would have to miss the prayer meeting at Crusade room, and my GEMs class. Well okay, I really wouldn't have felt so bad had I missed my GEMs lesson, but I just didn't want to miss the prayer meeting. It was tempting but no, I would have none of that. I went for the prayer meeting and it was so fulfilling. The prayer warriors were praying for all students in SP and all the lost souls in the world. I couldn't have spent my 1 hour any better. It really felt so good.
Through experience, I've really found being together with God's people gives me more satisfaction. There's this unexplained peace in me. Yes it is enjoyable to be around my friends from school, from SJAB, from my neighbourhood, but it gets very empty sometimes. Just pointless fun. Many people don't know, but sub-consciously we get drawn away from God by the company we keep. Nothing can really compare when I'm with fellow Christians working for Him. I feel alot happier when I'm with the Campus Crusaders or the worship teams from both churches. We should be spending our time on mixing around with people who are serious about God.
I refuse to believe that my time in my youth should be for myself. It's not time for me to enjoy myself. I don't want to look back on this period when I'm older just so that I could be reminded of how much fun I had in my youth. No. When I'm older, I want to look back and be reminded of how I willingly spent every minute doing the work of God. Be it evangelising, or serving, because in our youth, it's the best time to serve God wholeheartedly. It's definitely going to be so hard to do as much when we've graduated and we need to move on to NS or work. We don't have all the time in the world. I don't care if God is going to give me good times in Poly, because it's in me now that I just want to serve Him. I'll tell Him, "No God, let me serve You instead. " Besides, I don't think my lifetime will ever be enough to finish doing my heart's desires for Him. The only time we can truly let go and enjoy our lives, is when we've gone home to our God.
I'm so glad I joined Campus Crusade and not some other CCA where I have to work so hard like I'm in SJAB. At least if I work my ass off, I know it's for God, and not for other people. Only now I realized I planned so much and did so much, was solely for people. Humans. Sinners. Well it's not so bad and I'd still very much love to do things like that, but a majority of my time still has to go to God.
I think I'm over my years where I was enthusiastic in SJAB, organising activities, camps and whatever. I want to give whatever time I can to Him now. I owe Him too much. I will evangelise and witness to campus students, not just in Singapore, but also a chance overseas. I will serve Him by playing in the worship ministry, and also hopefully becoming a spiritual multiplier in Campus Crusade. And most important of all, I will praise and worship Him day and night. I want to do the best for Him.
People ask me if I'm happy. I think I've never been happier in life. I'm really truly happy. I think this is what they call "breakthrough". The power of God in me is so strong now, I want to keep it burning. I have never been so happy.
I won't ever conform. Because I'm God's child. I will do what I know is truly deeply right.
signing off at 7:17 PM
Here I Am
Everytime, everything, God is always challenging my faith in Him, towards Him. Today I took a step forward in my walk of service for God. I was worship leader.
Though I always have dreams to be a worship leader, leading thousands with the Holy Spirit, it's a different challenge altogether leading my church.
No I don't come from a hugely populated church located in a large building with the latest equipments. We don't have the best musicians or singers. We probably only have about 50 members, and that is only when everyone turns up. Average attendance, I'd say 20 odd every Sunday. Large part of the congregation are relatively aged and belong to the chinese-speaking, and our worship team is young. Very very young.
But with a recent change of pastoral leader in our church, we're definitely heading for newer things. Bigger things.
It would have been easier if I was leading a youthful english congregation, with thousands singing along with me and responding to the Spirit, it would spur me on and I would be comfortable. It would have been easier if I had the best musicians and singers backing me up, a team with all the experience to sweep the people off their feets. It would have been even easier if I could just be behind, playing the guitar for my leader, and I could keep my entire heart on Him.
But no, God said I would have none of that. Instead He gave me a young worship team to grow together. He gave me a congregation that I needed to spare a thought for. Language, and age. He gave me a small number of people to lead. With all the empty seats and lack of response, I had all the chance in the world to be discouraged. He gave me singers that are much older than me, and it's definitely not easy taking charge of them and getting what I want. He put me in a situation where I could not just sit back and watch, but had to step forward to lead.
He gave me all of these, as a test of my faith and belief in Him.
It is said that you should not worry about the number of people in your church. It's alright to be small, but definitely not alright to feel small. God told me, that though there may be empty seats, but when the Heavens hear the sound of our church singing to the Lord, the Gates of Heaven opens and angels descend to fill up the empty seats, to join us in worshiping the Lord. I kept that in my mind and I was so encouraged.
I took the step today in giving my best to lead. All I wanted was to lead people into His presence. God was faithful, and today's service definitely brought us a step forward to growing stronger as a church. As I led today, I saw tears flowing, voices calling. I know the Spirit had come. Many shed tears. I even saw my mum cry. That just made me go on.
This is my drug, my estacy. I just want to be able to do this always.
I've got big plans for God. And I know God has big plans for me too. All will be bigger, because my God is big. I promise.
signing off at 11:58 PM
Untuned guitar
I have my dreams about glorifying God by serving Him in any way I can. I'd love to touch lives with His love, and just the awesome emotions when He is present. But how can anyone do that when he himself isn't tuned to God ...
An Angel told me this in church.
Even the best guitar player in the world cannot play a guitar, that is out of tune, to the best of his abilities. The guitar has to be tuned correctly to what he desires first.
The same with us. God can't use us to the best of Him, if we aren't tuned properly.
Let's all find the right tuning first.
signing off at 10:58 PM