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When griping grief the heart doth wound,
and doleful dumps the mind opresses,
then music, with her silver sound,
with speedy help doth lend redress.
-William Shakespeare
Soldier
"They won't understand why we do it... they won't understand... it's about the man next to you... and that's it... that's all it is"
Sfc. Norm "Hoot" Gibson
-Black Hawk Down
Few understand me... few understand why I do it... sometimes... even the one that matters the most, don't.
signing off at 4:05 PM
More of me
The recent span of events and experiences that ran along with time is undoubtedly causing a stir and leaving a whole lot of mess in me. Nothing will be able to do it justice what I'm about to give you at face value.
This trip has been a one way ticket that allows no reverse... and that's something you've got to learn to take and move on. There has not been a stop sign since forever and I really do doubt there ever will be one. I'm amazed at the fact that I've chanced upon many truths about the side unknown to me, living in me... and it has become very clear, exactly like a reflection upon a mirror. It's something I try to avoid looking at... yet it's presence is screaming loud.
This whole ride has caused me to re-evaluate myself... and so far things are not good. The deep thinker consumes the majority... and too often it leads to over-elaborated reasoning that sounds it's voice in my head. Can anyone ever have such good nature that gives even if it can't ? No one likes to be on the risky side of things... not to mention how much it will hurt when you fall. I guess we all got to take things a little easier. I'm not as strong... not as capable as I thought I used to be.What the world offered were lies and stages that provided scenes to feed your ego. Imagine being brought down to your knees after thinking for years the world of yourself.
I'm facing problems with insecurity... and many times I assume the role of the viewer's eyes. What exactly is there left in me ? Even more so now that I do know this person inside out. I realized I need someone who needs me. I need someone who assures...
There are multiple sides to me that take their place at any given time. I could be laughing and joking and simply being a clown one moment... the next, I'd ignore everyone and pretend I don't see anyone. I won't even feel like talking... and I honestly got a big problem with being too sensitive at times. Oh if someone could save me... I'd rather be void of feelings. And I am weak... so very weak. I obviously need to break free of something.
I wonder when I'll ever be happy
signing off at 12:46 PM
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Ian, 21
iancll@hotmail.com
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You and Me
Blind
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Samson C03U Studio Condenser Mic
Takamine ED-51C Dragon Series
Sonar LE Digital Audio Workstation
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